After a battle with myself that seems to have lasted weeks, I felt I needed reminding that I could actually make art. So I dug into the storage room in search of my oldest portfolio – the one from before design college. It was so deep in the back of the room, it was a bit of a struggle to get it out. I was hardly phased by this because it seems the last few weeks have been nothing but….. What I found surprised me and the coincidence that followed, delighted me.
Harrison Ford as “Indiana Jones”, pencil, circa 1989
I do not consider myself a portraitist – in any way – so it was a pleasant surprise to find an old sketch I made from some long lost photo of one of my favourite movie heroes – Indiana Jones. What was even more surprising was what I discovered when trying to figure out when I was likely to have drawn it. I did a quick search on the internet to discover that the fourth installment of Indiana Jones in due in theatres this May!
I believe in coincidences and that the Universe sends us messages from time to time when we are in some way off track and synchronicity when we are onto something….. The last several weeks have been a series of minor setbacks on what seems like every front. To think that these might not have had an impact on my art was, of course, delusional. I have lost my ‘art’ so to speak. It’s not from lack of trying…. I seem to have forgotten everything I knew about painting. Nothing is working.
The profound and well timed lessons that have come (and no less the influence of joining Oprah’s and Eckhart Tolle’s “New Earth”) have reminded me that I need to be led by my spirit rather than my head. This is hardly a revelation, however, what you resist, persists; says one of my closest friends. And resisting I am. I think I have spent too much time rationalizing and thinking about what my art should be, where I should be living (a second rejected offer on a house), what I should have produced by now and I am drowning in ‘should’. It’s hard to get a message through when the line is always busy.
I can’t say I have figured out what the message is yet… but at least, now, I am listening……